New Episodes Released Each Monday

New Episodes Released Each Monday ✨


“I truly believe that when we recover loudly, no one need suffer in silence.”

- Ash Butterss

Join Ash each week as she brings you powerful stories of adversity, hope and transformation. 

Whether it’s an epic interview or one of Ash’s in demand solo episodes, each recording delivers you tools and insights to unlock your full potential and create a life that excites you. 

If you’re hungry to learn and expand your mind then you’re in the right place.

This podcast is your one-stop shop for powerful strategies, raw vulnerability and the shared wisdom of those who’ve walked the path themselves.

About Behind The Smile

About Behind The Smile ✨

I created Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss because I’m on a mission to remove the stigma around mental health, trauma and addiction. 

From 2018 – 2020, I was drinking every day, stuck in a cycle of addiction yet from the outside looking in my life looked “normal.” I now know, I fell into the category of being a “high-functioning alcoholic” however, at the time, I thought I just needed to learn how to control my drinking. 

I was also experiencing poor mental health and debilitating panic attacks, which I was later medicated for, but I didn’t stop drinking and so the anxiety raged on. 

During this time, I didn’t know where to turn to. I knew there were programs such as AA, but I didn’t think I qualified because I didn’t think I was an alcoholic. I didn’t look like the “typical” alcoholic, and I hadn’t lost my job or my marriage, so I was at a loss. Nowhere could I find another person who looked and sounded like me, who was going through a similar experience and talking about it. 

When I got sober in 2020, I knew I needed to change this. I had a deep calling to start a conversation around mental health and addiction so that people could find identification in hearing people’s stories. 

We live in a society that demands perfectionism and often people are afraid to speak honestly and openly about their struggles. Yet the only way this stigma can be removed is by having the conversation! 

I hope these stories offer education and comfort for anyone experiencing difficulties today. Know that you’re not alone. 

Ash xo

Episode Show Notes

Take a trip through the latest episode show notes below
PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 140. From Not Leaving the House to Living Fully: Justine Youl on Recovering from Addiction and Abuse 

In this episode, Ash welcomes Justine Youl, who shares her remarkable journey of recovery and transformation after facing an abusive relationship, crippling addiction and debilitating mental health. At the peak of her alcoholism, Justine couldn’t even leave her house. Now, over three and a half years sober, Justine runs a thriving international business from her home in Bali, where she lives with her partner and three children. Justine describes the discipline of her morning routine, the importance of setting clear boundaries, and the life-changing effects of breathwork and meditation on her healing process.

Justine also bravely opens up about navigating grief, her spiritual journey, and how living with ADHD has shaped her perspective and daily life. Through her experiences, she embodies resilience and hope, demonstrating that it is possible to create a meaningful and joyful life after overcoming immense challenges.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 139. Choosing Life Over Alcohol: Chris Gimpel’s Honest Journey

In this episode, Ash is joined by Chris Gimpel, a passionate advocate for sobriety and mental health, who shares his courageous journey of overcoming alcohol dependence. Chris speaks candidly about the realities of living with addiction, the pivotal moment that inspired him to seek help, and the ongoing work required to maintain his recovery.

The conversation explores the essential role of community, the practice of self-compassion, and the process of rewiring the brain to establish healthier patterns and habits. Chris reflects on the non-negotiables that anchor his daily life, including prioritising rest, spending quality time with his dog, and finding purpose in supporting others on their own paths to healing.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 138. Not Letting Trauma Define You, with your Self-Love Bestie, Sarah Viliamu 

In this deeply inspiring episode, Ash sits down with Sarah Viliamu, founder of The Self Love Supply, to explore her extraordinary journey of resilience, healing, and empowerment. From experiencing childhood homelessness and family violence to navigating the heartbreak of recurrent miscarriages, Sarah opens up about the adversity that has shaped her and the tools that have helped her rise above it.  

With openness and wisdom, Sarah shares the practices that have supported her path to healing, highlighting the power of self-love, the importance of community, and the courage it takes to keep showing up when life feels unbearable. She reflects on how personal struggles can impact relationships and offers insight into the ways grief can also deepen connection and compassion.  

Sarah also gives a glimpse into the upcoming Empowered Her event, created to inspire women, foster meaningful connection, and remind us all of the strength that comes from standing together. This is an episode about finding light in the shadows, embracing vulnerability, and choosing resilience as a way forward.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 137. Numbing the Pain: Alcoholism and Sharp Edge Eye Syndrome with Ryan Bayly

In this inspiring episode, Ash is joined by Elle McBride, a Certified Havening Techniques® Trainer, who opens up about her personal journey through trauma and the healing work that has transformed her life.

Elle shares how discovering Havening became a turning point, not only in her own recovery, but in her ability to help others release the emotional weight of their past. Together, Ash and Elle explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma on adult behavior, and the role of community, self-compassion, and resilience in creating lasting change.

This is a powerful conversation about the deep human need for connection, and the practical tools that can guide us toward emotional freedom and healing.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 136. The Healing Technique That Changed Everything for Elle McBride

In this inspiring episode, Ash is joined by Elle McBride, a Certified Havening Techniques® Trainer, who opens up about her personal journey through trauma and the healing work that has transformed her life.

Elle shares how discovering Havening became a turning point, not only in her own recovery, but in her ability to help others release the emotional weight of their past. Together, Ash and Elle explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma on adult behavior, and the role of community, self-compassion, and resilience in creating lasting change.

This is a powerful conversation about the deep human need for connection, and the practical tools that can guide us toward emotional freedom and healing.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 135. Ask Us Anything: Surprise Elopement & Honeymoon Edition!

In this heartfelt episode, Ash sits down with her now husband Damian, one week after returning from their surprise elopement and European honeymoon. You guys sent in the questions, and the couple didn’t hold back in answering them. From how they met, to making the decision to elope, what really went down on the wedding day and their favourite memories from the honeymoon, they discuss it all. The conversation also touches on the changes that come with marriage, their future goals, and the keys to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 134. Healing Out Loud: Carlo La Marchesina on Grief, Growth and the Gifts of Sobriety

In this episode, Ash welcomes back Carlo La Marchesina for an honest conversation about the realities of recovery and the power of emotional resilience. Carlo shares his personal journey, reflecting on the recent challenges he’s faced including grief, loss, and betrayal, and how these experiences have shaped his approach to life and healing.

Carlo opens up about the daily routines and non-negotiables that keep him grounded after 17 years of consistent sobriety, emphasising the vital role of both physical and mental health. He speaks to the transformative power of vulnerability and emotional expression, and how leaning into community has been essential to his ongoing recovery.

Carlo also discusses the importance of faith and spirituality as cornerstones of his journey, and the inspiration he draws from others walking similar paths. This episode is a testament to the strength found in connection, the courage to feel deeply, and the hope that comes from living authentically one day at a time.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 133. Breathing Back To Life: Healing, Purpose, and the Power of Vulnerability with Bryce Maher

In this inspiring episode, Ash sits down with Bryce, founder of The Breath Code, to explore a journey marked by adversity, healing, and purpose. Bryce opens up about his early battles with addiction and the lingering shadows of childhood trauma, revealing how these experiences shaped his path and ignited a search for deeper meaning.

Through raw honesty and vulnerability, Bryce shares how breathwork became a lifeline, helping him reclaim his mental health and reconnect with himself. He discusses the power of sharing our stories, especially for men who are often taught to hide their struggles, and how vulnerability can be the first step toward true transformation.

Now dedicated to guiding others, Bryce explains how The Breath Code empowers individuals to break cycles of pain and find their own path to healing. This episode is a testament to the courage it takes to face our past, the strength found in community, and the profound impact of breathwork and self-discovery.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 132. The Raw Path to Wholeness: How Blythe Langford Transformed From the Inside Out

In this episode, Ash sits down with Blythe Langford, a holistic business mentor, trauma-informed healer, and the definition of resilience. From drowning in debt to building a salon empire, surviving cancer, and radically transforming her life through sobriety, raw veganism and fasting, Blythe’s journey is nothing short of extraordinary.

She shares the bold rituals and unconventional healing practices that have cracked her wide open, revealing a life of deeper purpose, clarity, and connection. With raw honesty, Blythe reflects on the beauty and burnout of the salon world, her ongoing dance with grief and growth, and her mission to reclaim the salon as a sacred space for transformation.

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PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss PODCAST Ashleigh Butterss

Episode 131. The Ego Collapse: How Losing Millions Gifted Him a New Perspective, with Kyle Stagoll

In this episode, Ash is joined by Kyle Stagoll, a crypto trader whose world came crashing down overnight with the collapse of FTX, one of the largest cryptocurrency exchanges in history. What started as a story of rapid success turned into a sobering fall, as Kyle faced the unthinkable: losing everything he’d built.

Kyle speaks with raw honesty about the emotional aftermath of that loss, the depression, the isolation, and the shame that followed. He opens up about how childhood wounds shaped his drive for external success, and how hitting rock bottom forced him to confront the patterns of self-sabotage that had quietly followed him for years.

But Kyle’s story doesn’t end in the wreckage. Through deep self-reflection and a commitment to personal growth, he began the slow, steady climb back, this time with a different compass. He shares how mindset work, neuroplasticity, and a redefinition of success helped him rebuild a life grounded in purpose, presence, and freedom.

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