My guest this week, Shannan Walsh, lived in the grip of addiction for 18 years. It took her from alcohol and drugs to crime, prison, homelessness and a relationship that nearly cost her life. Eventually, she reached a point where there was nowhere left to run.

In this raw conversation, Shannan shares what it took to survive, get sober and rebuild her life from the ground up. She speaks about motherhood, violence, shame, spirituality and the slow work of learning to trust herself again.

Shannan’s story is confronting, but it is also a hopeful reminder that recovery is possible. 

TW: This episode contains discussion of family violence and suicide. 

What does rock bottom really feel like? How do you find your purpose, build a life that keeps you grounded, and learn to trust that even your hardest experiences are leading you somewhere?

In this latest “Ask Me Anything” episode, Ash answers six deeply personal questions about sobriety, spirituality, friendship, marriage, purpose and the practices that continue to shape her life.

From the moment everything changed on Valentine’s Day 2020 to the words she wishes she could offer her younger self, Ash shares the truth behind who she is today, what she has learnt along the way, and why she no longer believes life is happening to her, but for her.

If you’re on your own transformation journey, or navigating the messy middle between who you were and who you’re becoming, this episode is for you. 

This week, Ash sits down with Tom Cronin, meditation teacher and international speaker, for a deeply honest conversation about what it really looks like to hold everything together on the outside while quietly falling apart within. Tom opens up about the two parallel lives he was living during his 26 years in the high pressure world of global financial markets, one of outward success, pinstripe suits, and Bondi beachside living, and another of crippling anxiety, panic attacks, chronic insomnia, depression, and a growing reliance on drugs and alcohol that eventually led to a breakdown at age 29.

It was from that rock bottom that Tom discovered Vedic meditation, a practice that not only transformed his mental health but ultimately became the foundation of an entirely new life and purpose.

Ash and Tom explore the science of stress, why alcohol numbs but never heals, and how meditation actually expands brain function rather than impairing it. Tom shares the journey from seeker to finder to sharer, including the challenges of leaving the golden handcuffs of finance behind, producing his feature film The Portal, and building his mission to inspire a billion people to meditate daily.

The conversation weaves through ego, ego transcendence, contribution, and the holistic practices Tom uses to remain grounded and performing at his best. It is a rich and wide-ranging episode about the courage it takes to change course, the intelligence of the body's warning signals, and the profound freedom that comes from finally looking inward.

How much longer are you willing to suffer before something changes?

In this powerful solo episode, Ash explores a recurring theme she’s been discussing with people lately: have you truly had enough? Because whether it's alcohol, a relationship, a career, perfectionism, or an old way of thinking, lasting change rarely happens until we're willing to let go of the ideas, stories, and identities that are keeping us stuck.

Drawing on her own recovery journey, Ash speaks candidly about the gift of desperation, the stigma surrounding the word alcoholic, and why so many of us continue negotiating with our own suffering long after we've realised something isn't working. She shares what it really takes to create meaningful change and why partial willingness often keeps us trapped in the very cycles we're desperate to escape.

This conversation extends far beyond sobriety, inviting listeners to honestly examine where fear, familiarity, and old beliefs may be preventing them from stepping into a more authentic life.

Ash also reflects on celebrating her first wedding anniversary and the unexpected lessons that came from eloping in Italy, including a deeper understanding of people pleasing, self-worth, and the quiet cost of abandoning ourselves to keep others comfortable. She shares why esteemable acts are one of the most powerful ways to build genuine self-worth and how authentic relationships are forged when we stop performing for approval.

Plus, Ash leaves listeners with five thought-provoking journal prompts designed to help you uncover where you may be ready, or almost ready, to finally let go.

This week, Ash welcomes back Danni Carr, founder of How I Quit Alcohol, for a wide ranging chat on Bali, yoga, and the spiritual practices that underpin their sobriety. Danni shares the Balinese philosophy of Tri Hita Karana, the three-part connection to the divine, community, and land that keeps life in balance, and reflects on how a once reluctant relationship with yoga, born from hungover gym sessions and stormed out shavasanas, slowly became the foundation of her recovery and her sense of coming home to herself.

The conversation moves into deeper territory as Danni and Ash explore what the divine means to them now, the science behind spiritual practice and the brain, and the unexpected friendships that sobriety has made possible. Danni speaks candidly about needing daily practice not to recover but to keep expanding and staying regulated, and reminds listeners that spirituality doesn't have to be serious or precise to be powerful.

It’s a heartfelt conversation between two friends about connection, consistency, and choosing a life that feels good without needing to numb out to get there.

This week, Ash drops in with a mini solo episode to share a life update from her recent trip to Bali and to offer something she herself has been craving - a guided meditation to help you reset. She reflects on attending the AA convention, what it’s like to travel sober after years of using airports and planes as a reason to drink, and the joy of being surrounded by like-minded people who truly understand the recovery journey. She also speaks about the not so pleasant reality of getting Bali Belly, and the lessons in surrender, self-care, and taking quick action. 

For the first time on the podcast, Ash is also sharing a guided meditation. One she specifically wrote for her Behind The Smile listeners. A 10-minute guided meditation designed to bring you back to yourself, whether you’re at home, walking, or listening on the go, offering a simple way to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with what actually matters today.

This week, Ash sits down with psychic, healer and mindset coach Shanaye Kuntze for a raw conversation about burnout, self-worth, intuition and the journey back to self.

Behind a successful business and years spent helping others, Shanaye found herself completely burnt out, bed-ridden, disconnected and unable to keep going. Together, Ash and Shanaye unpack the hidden ways childhood wounds and the search for love and approval can shape our lives, careers and sense of self.

Shanaye shares how breathwork became the catalyst for profound healing and the awakening of her psychic gifts, opening the door to deeper intuition, purpose and trust in herself. They explore boundaries, rest, alignment and what it really means to create a life that feels good, not just one that looks good.

This is a powerful conversation about slowing down, listening inward, and finding the courage to follow the voice within.

This week, Ash shares a sneak peak into her memoir, tracing how her spiritual life has evolved over six and a half years in recovery. What began as skepticism and resistance toward anything “spiritual” has slowly become the foundation of her day-to-day life, influencing how she relates to herself, others, and the world around her.

She opens up about moving from a place of self-hatred, numbing, and constant chasing to an inner landscape shaped by simple, consistent practices like prayer, meditation, gratitude, and quiet acts of service. Ash reflects on how spirituality, for her, isn’t about being “woo-woo” or giving up ambition or joy, but about how you live when no one is watching and how kindly you speak to yourself when things are hard.

At its heart, this episode invites listeners to reconsider what spirituality might look like in their own lives, whether they’re on a sober path, a healing journey, or simply curious about something deeper.

This week, Ash sits down with Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society, to talk about the deeply personal road that led her to motherhood on her own terms. Alisha shares the heartbreak of infertility, the emotional weight of hidden struggles, and the quiet strength it took to move through a life that often looked fine from the outside while feeling very different underneath.

She opens up about the role alcohol played in her life, the pressure of social expectations, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. Ash and Alisha explore what it means to choose donor conception, to step into solo motherhood by choice, and to build a life that feels honest, intentional, and aligned with who you really are.

Throughout the conversation, Alisha reflects on the changing shape of family, the power of community support, and the liberation that can come from letting go of the version of life you thought you were meant to have. At its heart, this episode is about grief, growth, and the courage to create a future rooted in authenticity, independence, and love.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses pregnancy loss. 

This week, Ash and holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran sit down to reflect on their recent Embodied Woman retreat—a four-day immersion that brought together a circle of women ready to soften, unravel, and remember who they are beneath the noise of everyday life. They share stories from the space they created together: the tenderness in the room on day one, the quiet courage it took for participants to let their guard down, and the electric shift that happens when women feel truly safe, seen, and held.

Ash and Laura talk about the power of sisterhood, the importance of meeting your edge in a supported way, and the intergenerational healing that begins when women stop abandoning themselves and start listening to their bodies, emotions, and truths. They reflect on moments of tears, laughter, shaking, breath, and embodiment, and how those experiences translated into real-life change—new boundaries, softer hearts, and braver choices in relationships, work, and family.

Throughout the conversation, they honour the women who showed up, naming the transformation that becomes possible when community, vulnerability, and embodied practices come together. They also share what’s next, inviting listeners into the next iteration of the Embodied Woman retreat—a chance to step into their own journey of connection, growth, and deep inner reconnection alongside a circle of women walking the same path.

This week, Ash sits down with Rosie Eldershaw, a country girl turned Melburnian who recently celebrated three years of sobriety after multiple rehabs and several near-fatal rock bottoms. Rosie shares how her drinking progressed from nightly wine to 24/7 spirits and drugs, and how she kept a bubbly, high-functioning facade while quietly falling apart inside. She speaks honestly about seizures, the shame of drinking hand sanitiser and mouthwash, and the terror of knowing something was very wrong but feeling powerless to stop.

Rosie reflects on the turning points that finally stuck: finding a 12-step program, allowing others to help, and building a simple, peaceful life she genuinely enjoys with yoga, dog parks, her partner and her dog. This is a grounded, hopeful conversation about ownership, spirituality, and the non-negotiables that now protect her sobriety and happiness.

This week, Ash returns with a solo episode that’s felt long overdue. After a season of slowing down and stepping back, she’s back behind the mic on her own, not with all the answers, but with a deeper level of honesty about what it really means to accept life as it is.

Drawing on yoga philosophy, recovery, and her own lived experience, Ash explores the tension between control and surrender. She opens up about her patterns of perfectionism, the need to hold everything together, and the unexpected peace that came when she finally softened her grip.

This is a deeply personal reflection on relationships, family dynamics, and the moments that still stir old wounds. Ash also shares her experience navigating motherhood, fertility, and loss, and how these chapters have shaped her understanding of acceptance in a way no theory ever could.

If you’ve been trying to control outcomes, fix everything, or push against what is, this episode offers a different way.

A gentle reminder that peace isn’t found in having it all figured out, but in learning to meet yourself exactly where you are.

This week, Ash sits down with embodied dance artist and coach Taylah King, whose journey from darkness to rediscovery is both heart-wrenching and deeply inspiring. Taylah opens up about her twelve-year relationship and marriage that began in childhood, the growing inner whisper that something wasn't right, and the vulnerability of walking away from the only safety she'd ever known. From alcohol abuse that started at fourteen to a drug-induced psychosis triggered by ayahuasca, Taylah shares candidly about spending two years dissociated from reality, convinced she was dead, and trapped in a mental health crisis that felt inescapable.

She reflects on the terrifying experience of psychosis, the inadequacy of traditional mental health support, and the overwhelming loneliness of not knowing if she'd ever come back. Taylah describes the turning point that changed everything: surrendering to faith, working with a mentor, and falling in love for the first time while sober, which allowed her to finally feel again after years of numbness. Throughout their conversation, Ash and Taylah explore the danger of spiritual bypassing, the power of embodiment practices, and the importance of learning to listen to your nervous system instead of seeking answers outside yourself.

Today, Taylah uses dance and movement as medicine, helping others reconnect to their bodies and move freely in the world without substances. Her story is a powerful reminder that even in the deepest darkness, there is always a way back home to yourself.

This week, Ash sits down with author Blake D. Bauer, whose book You Were Not Born to Suffer has helped thousands rethink the way they relate to themselves, their pain, and their past. Blake opens up about his own journey through addiction, mental health struggles, and the pressure to keep it all hidden behind a smile, tracing how childhood experiences and emotional confusion shaped the way he moved through the world.

He shares how meditation and Eastern philosophies became lifelines and a pathway into healing. Ash and Blake dive into the power of morning meditation, the quiet joy of everyday moments, and what it really means to take radical responsibility for your inner life instead of waiting for someone else to fix it.

Throughout their conversation, Blake offers grounded, practical steps for cultivating self-love and rebuilding self-trust: listening to your own needs, telling yourself the truth, and learning to treat yourself with the same honesty and kindness you’d offer someone you care about.

This week, Ash sits down with powerhouse performer Naomi Eyres, whose four-decade career has taken her from session singer to London’s West End, global tours with The Fabulous Singlettes, and sharing stages with icons like Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones. Behind the spotlight, Naomi has quietly built over 31 years of sobriety, reshaping not just her life in music, but the way she shows up for herself and others.

Naomi opens up about her early experiences with alcohol and drugs, the pull of ambition, and the quiet moments that revealed her relationship with drinking was no longer sustainable. She shares candidly about the ups and downs of her recovery journey including her recent heart attack that became a brutal wake-up call, going to rehab with almost three decades of sobriety, and the spiritual and emotional work that followed.

Together, they trace Naomi’s journey through addiction, sobriety, and the long road of staying sober through life’s inevitable turmoil including grief, changing relationships, and the ongoing demands of a life in the arts. Naomi reflects on the role of community, the impact of the relationships that held a mirror up when she needed it most, and the way music, fun, and creativity still sit at the heart of her life today, only now grounded in peace rather than chaos.

Naomi shares how today she values spiritual connection, honest self-reflection, service, and simple daily routines that keep her anchored in gratitude and presence.

This week’s episode is four years in the making, as Ash sits down with her brother, Campbell Butterss, for a conversation that is both deeply personal and authentically honest. 

Cam reflects on their shared upbringing, growing up in an environment that was at times unpredictable. The subtle dynamics and unspoken patterns that shaped them both, and how sport became an outlet and a way to navigate emotions he didn’t yet have the words for.

At sixteen years sober, Cam opens up about his journey into sobriety at 26, the moments that led him to take a more honest look at his relationship with alcohol, and the support systems that helped him find a new way forward. Ash and Cam explore the evolving nature of family and friendships in recovery, what shifts, what stays the same, and what it takes to step out of old roles and into something more aligned.

They also touch on the realities of Campbell’s career in real estate, and the tools he’s developed to move through uncertainty and pressure without falling back into old patterns. Woven throughout the conversation are themes of growth, perspective, and the grounding influence of fatherhood, as Campbell shares how becoming a dad has shaped the way he lives, leads, and shows up today.

This week, Ash sits down with principal consultant and founder of the Energy Collective Co, Jade Donegan, to explore what it really means to care for your inner world while navigating the demands of work, family, and grief. Jade shares how her spirituality helped her to navigate the profound rupture of losing her dad, a loss that reshaped how she sees life, love, and success.

She opens up about her journey through grief and forgiveness, the unexpected signs she still receives from her father, and the emotional toll of trying to keep going when your heart is somewhere else. Ash and Jade dive into the importance of emotional health at work, the need for accountability in professional spaces, and how understanding our own energy can change the way we lead, collaborate, and show up for the people around us.

Throughout their conversation, Jade reflects on the transformative power of practices like Reiki, and how they’ve helped her build self-awareness, soften self-judgment, and create workplaces where wellbeing is taken seriously. Together, they talk about moving through emotions rather than getting stuck in them, and the courage it takes to let yourself feel everything without shutting down. 

At its heart, this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with empathy whether you’re sitting in grief, in transition, or in growth. You’ll walk away with insights on how to build a life and career that honour both your humanity and your healing.

This week, Ash sits down with sobriety advocate, author, and entrepreneur, Ian Fee, for a conversation that challenges everything you think you know about recovery.

After 34 years of heavy drinking, Ian reached a point where he was willing to try anything to get sober. What followed was one of the most confronting decisions of his life, undergoing 10 days of radical aversion therapy designed to make alcohol physically repulsive. 

Ian shares what it was really like inside that experience, including daily alcohol-induced vomiting, sedatives and intense therapy. This was the doorway that led him to sobriety and the opportunity to rebuild his life. From losing almost everything to slowly repairing, Ian opens up about healing relationships, restoring self-respect, and learning how to live day by day without escaping himself.

Along with losing 85 pounds, Ian has formed a whole new identity and now lives a life that is full of gratitude, purpose and meaning. 

This week, Ash sits down with  Carly Schwartz, author of I’ll Try Anything Twice, to talk about what it really looks like to live through the darkest corners of your own mind and make it out the other side. Carly traces her journey from childhood anxiety to years of depression, substance use, and suicidal ideation, sharing the moments of denial, fear, and quiet desperation that shaped her path.

She opens up about the turning point of finally naming her addiction and the life-changing experience of going to rehab, not as a neat overnight fix, but as the beginning of a very human, very imperfect recovery. Ash and Carly explore the messy middle of healing: the shame that keeps us silent, the relief of being truly seen, and the deep importance of community and storytelling in breaking through isolation.

Throughout their conversation, Carly reflects on what it means to personalise recovery rather than squeeze it into a one-size-fits-all mold. She speaks to the need for flexibility, self-acceptance, and learning to listen to your own needs as they evolve over time. At its heart, this episode is a testament to resilience and connection, a reminder that while recovery is rarely linear, it is always possible, especially when we’re willing to tell the truth, reach out, and let others walk beside us.

In this inspiring episode, Ash sits down with TEDx speaker and award-winning author Melo Calarco—a man who has quite literally cycled to the edges of the world in search of meaning, resilience, and himself. Over 30,000 kilometres across five continents, Melo has learned that the most transformative journey is always the one within.

He shares how meditation and mindfulness became the quiet anchors behind his extraordinary adventures, and how facing grief, uncertainty, and physical limits on the road ultimately deepened his understanding of what it means to truly live. Together, Ash and Melo explore the tension between ambition and contentment, and what it looks like to pursue big goals without losing yourself in the chase.

Drawing on Eastern philosophies and real-life transformations he has witnessed through his coaching work, Melo offers grounded, practical tools for bringing more presence, flexibility, and fun into everyday life. The conversation is a reminder that growth doesn't always look like pushing harder—sometimes it looks like slowing down, checking in with your values, and choosing joy as a practice. Melo's story is equal parts adventure and wisdom, and a powerful invitation to live more fully, freely, and in alignment with what matters most.