Do you ever wonder why you keep repeating the same patterns, even when you know better?
Why you keep choosing the same kinds of relationships, struggling to hold boundaries, abandoning your own needs, or finding yourself back in the same emotional place you promised yourself you’d never return to?
The answer may lie much deeper than you think.
This week, Ash sits down with leading addiction specialist and psychotherapist Diane Young for a powerful conversation about childhood trauma, emotional immaturity and the unconscious patterns we carry into adulthood.
Diane explains why all trauma counts, including the experiences we’ve learned to minimise or dismiss, and how unmet needs in childhood can shape our self-worth, boundaries, relationships and the way we cope when life gets hard.
Together, Ash and Diane explore why so many of us wait until the wheels completely fall off before we seek help, what it really means to become emotionally mature, and why healing isn’t about blaming your parents or getting stuck in the past. It’s about understanding where your patterns came from so you can finally choose something different.
Drawing on Pia Mellody’s developmental model of emotional immaturity and Diane’s extensive experience with the Changes program, they also explore why deep healing can be so powerful within a small, safe and held group environment.
And there’s a very exciting announcement from Diane and Ash that you won’t want to miss.
Because you can understand your patterns intellectually and still keep repeating them.
Real healing begins when you become willing to understand what’s underneath them.
Episode chapters:
00:02 Welcome Back, Diane Young
01:11 How Mental Health Awareness Has Shifted
02:44 Big T, Little T and Why It’s All Trauma
05:59 The Nine Needs Every Child Has
07:25 Pia Mellody and the Developmental Model of Immaturity
12:15 The Changes Program and Why It Transforms
15:49 How Courage to Heal Came to Life in Bali
19:06 Giving Back What Isn’t Yours
23:44 Love Addiction, Avoidance and Relationship Patterns
26:07 Self-Esteem and Boundaries
30:44 Why Small Groups and Aftercare Matter
37:40 Closing and Retreat Details
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Connect with Diane below:
Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More
Courage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027 | Find Out More
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information
A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 | Find Out More
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Instagram @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!